Recovering from the trauma of a dog attack: Helping yourself, to better help your dog!

When your dog goes through the trauma of of a dog attack, it doesn’t just effect them. Whether you were there, or not, it’s very possible that you are also experiencing the effects of trauma as a result of your shared experience.

As a dog behaviourist I am well used to helping dogs recover from this kind of trauma, but what about you? I am also a qualified counsellor (of people) so I know that you need to be as strong as possible to help your dog recover from the trauma of a dog attack. So I wrote this blog to help you, so you can be the strongest version of yourself so you can better support your dog through their trauma recovery.

Feeling helpless

When something traumatic happens, it doesn’t just happen to your dog. One of the most common things people experience following the trauma of a dog attack is a feeling of helplessness. Trauma is strongly linked to feeling trapped and helpless, whatever form that comes in. Whether you are hearing about the incident over the phone while stuck at work, or watching, frozen in place while things unfold in front of you, or desperately trying to get to your vet. In all cases, you were left feeling trapped and ineffective, and that causes trauma!

The first thing to acknowledge is that it is normal to feel this way. This was an exceptional situation. Whilst there might be a few “what ifs,” when it comes down to it, you reacted instinctively. You weren’t trained to handle dog attacks, you didn’t practise for this, so you did what made the most sense at the time. When we are under pressure, or an emergency happens, our brains make fast decisions with only one goal – to survive. Unless we have had extensive training, we will always look back on these things wishing we’d done things differently, but it takes time to come up with effective solutions that take into account all the facts, and when we are under pressure we just don’t have time. Check out my quick reactive behaviour quiz for a great example of how this works…

What do you wish you had done?

Many people tell me they wish they had done things different that day. This is typical following the trauma of a dog attack, and it’s easy to get consumed by that feeling of helplessness and guilt. Maybe they think they should’ve said something to the other dogs owner. Perhaps telling them off about their dogs behaviour before it escalated might have changed things. Or maybe they feel they should’ve asked for more space rather than trying to be polite. Maybe they feel like they should’ve gone somewhere else that morning, or should’ve fixed the chewed lead that allowed your dog to get free and cause the fight. Perhaps they think they should’ve got help months ago to help their own reactive dog. Or that they should’ve tightened their dogs collar that morning, they knew it was loose. Or maybe they were afraid (completely understandable) and wish they had done more to break up the fight, or picked up their dog, or not picked up their dog, or this, or that, or something else….

Whatever you think you should’ve, or could’ve done, you can use that in two ways.

Learn from it

The mind is a powerful thing, but when it comes to memory it is easily fooled. You might have noticed that when you remember what happened you recall it slightly differently each time. As you try to make sense of things, your mind will change elements of the story. This can make the situation more or less intense. As you relive the moment over and over you trigger the same emotions you felt at the time, causing them to grow in importance and intensity. Every time this happens the trauma deepens.

So, next time your brain tries to recall the incident, you can choose to remember it differently. Instead of letting your brain tell the story, you can change it to match one of your “should’ves.” If you wish you had acted quicker, then replay it so that you did react quicker, what happened next? How did that feel?

Write a letter

Writing letters can also help (don’t send them), especially if you wished another individual had acted differently. In your letter you can tell them everything you think of them, and their actions, and what they should’ve done. Don’t hold back, you can really tell them off in this letter!

The point of all this is not to diminish, or change your memory of what happened. It is to relieve yourself of that helpless feeling. It allows that trapped emotion to leek away, which will allow you to get back to normal.

Practise builds confidence

When wild animals survive life threatening situations they don’t dwell on how bad it was, they celebrate their survival. Then they use it as a learning opportunity. Through role play, they practise and hone all the skills they needed to stay alive. This helps them to quickly rebuild resilience and confidence so they can live normal lives again.

Rehearsing different outcomes through imaginary conversations, letter writing, and visualisation, is the human version of that.

Make a plan

I already mentioned that animals rehearse survival skills after traumatic events to keep their skills sharp. We have just discussed a couple of psychological way to do this, but there is another way. We can also take practical action to improve our preparedness and confidence.

In your re-imagining of “what you should’ve done” did you find yourself lacking in any kind of equipment or skills. If you did, now is the time to build up that tool box. Maybe you think you should’ve had a better lead or an escape proof harness, in that case start researching better options and don’t go out again until you are satisfied your dog is safe. If you think you could’ve been more responsive in the moment, what would it take for you to feel better prepared next time. Did you misread the other dogs body language, or your own dogs? Would a behaviour course help? Do you need to take pepper spray with you, or carry an umbrella to defend your dog, if he got attacked again. Would an extra lead have made a difference to the outcome last time, if so carry one. Would an extra person have helped? Do you need to park your car nearby, or keep your phone in your pocket, and fully charged, so you can call the vet in an emergency? If you wished you’d walked somewhere else, then find somewhere better.

When you take your dog out for the first time, post dog attack, it won’t help for you to be constantly thinking “what if… ” If you have no answer to any of your “what ifs” then you need to do more to prepare. If you don’t change anything, you will always feel vulnerable when you go out. Fixing the “what if’s” will give you more confidence to walk your dog again, knowing if the same thing happened again, you will handle it better. Your dog will have their own concerns, but if you aren’t worrying about stuff you could fix, then they will be more at ease and can begin their own recovery.

A happy ending

If you have got this far and are reading this blog, you are probably doing so because your dog suffered the trauma of a dog attack and you are looking for ways to help them recover. This means that, actually, your story had a happy ending – you and your dog both survived the attack, and your dog is out of danger.

When we replay the story we focus on the worst bits – the attack itself, and then we stop there, trapped in that moment. Try to remind yourself that, whilst a horrendous thing happened to you both, there is more to the story than just that. Don’t forget what happened afterwards. And, just like our wild animal friends, don’t forget to celebrate the fact that you both survived to tell the tale.

When we watch a movie, we don’t turn it off when the hero is beaten down and broken. The story doesn’t stop there. We keep watching to the end, so we can witness our hero overcome all the odds, save himself, and save the day! You are the hero in your dogs story!

Please seek help from a qualified counsellor if you need more help!