Do dogs need rules and boundaries?

Trainers talk about dogs needing rules and boundaries all the time. Aversive and balanced trainers tell us we need them because they make our dogs compliant and submissive. They use them as an excuse to punish dogs. I think dogs benefit hugely from having rules and boundaries. But, for me, it’s nothing to do with compliance or submission.

In this blog I’m going to talk about the true benefits of rules and boundaries, how to use them to build trust and confidence, and how to use them to change behaviour!

Setting expectations

Rules and boundaries set expectations for your dog. Far from being aversive, having a predictable life is incredibly bonding, it builds confidence, and it creates trust!

So, instead of using boundaries as a way to punish our dogs, we can actually use them to relieve anxiety and create opportunities to reward them. Not knowing what to expect makes our dogs vulnerable to many behaviour problems including resource guarding and reactive behaviour.

The rules!

There are so many rules you could have in your home. You might already have a few that you haven’t noticed. Maybe you like your dog to wait in his crate when the family has dinner, or perhaps he has to sit before getting his lead on. Some people like their dog to sit at the end of the hall while they answer the door, look at you before crossing the road, or offer a handshake before jumping out the car.

These are all reasonable enough rules that we might have for our dogs. When we implement them consistently, and reward our dog with the expected outcome, they will boost confidence and deepen the bond you have with your dog. When used negatively, it’s easy to see how rules could be used as an excuse to punish a dog. Failure to look up while waiting at the curb, for example, could result in a lead jerk, or a heel kick. But this won’t do much for your trust bond.

Dinner time!

Set meal times reduce overall anxiety by making the availability of food predictable. Food is a primal need and when we can’t depend on it, we naturally start to worry, and then we try to take control. Remember in the pandemic, people started panic buying pasta source and toilet roll because we were told resources were becoming scarce.

In some cases, people bought so much that years later, they have only just used up their stash. There was plenty of stuff to go round, they promised us that. But, because a few people had experienced issues, we changed our behaviour to protect ourselves from potentially missing out. Our dogs do this too. For them, it might mean hiding/burying food, saving food for later, and it might also include food guarding behaviours. Food is a resource, and so is any toys, their bed, and anything else they can find. So, just because your dog guards feathers, or baby wipes, they found in the street, doesn’t mean it’s not related to food anxiety.

It’s not just about dinner times either. Some people offer snacks at set times, like a chew after a walk, or before bed. When you set an expectation that this will happen, this forms part of the feeding routine too.

Not just about the food

It only took one shop to run out of loo roll, once, for the whole country the panic and cause a shortage. So having a routine that you usually stick to might not be enough.

Having a rule that you do certain things at certain times means that your dog will not have to worry about food, or resources, or anything else, for that matter. He’ll know exactly what to expect and when. If your dog is unsure when he’ll get his next walk, he’ll watch for any sign and react to that. But, if he never goes for a walk before lunch, it won’t matter what you do in the morning, he’ll wait patiently. Where you go, and at what time, counts as a rule and can change expectations too. If your dog always get’s let off lead on the path to the beach, and only on his afternoon walk, he’ll always expect to get off lead at that place, and that time. If he only gets a quick whizz round the block after breakfast, he’ll walk past that spot at that time in a much calmer way.

Any kind of routine will have the same effect on your dog. Whether it’s the time you usually leave him home alone, the length of time you are gone, play time, the time you do housework or anything else, these routines are rules to your dog.

Routine counts

Having a predictable routine means that our dogs know what to expect from us, from their environment, and when to expect it. A routine is just one very big rule spread out over the day. Not being in a routine is exhausting, mentally and physically. We are all especially tired after the first day of a holiday. A lot of that is from stress that has come from being out of routine and not knowing what the rules are. When people fly a lot, they just calmly get on with it. If you’ve only done it a few times you’ll be worrying about queues in security, whether you’ll get a table in Wetherspoons, and delays at the gate. Being in a well rehearsed routine makes all the difference here, and it will to your dog too.

You made a deal!

When you started training your dog you made a deal with them. You have something they want, and they have something you want. Usually, you have a treat to exchange for a particular behaviour – like a recall. If your dog fulfills his end of the bargain you must honour the deal. Too many times we phase out our end of the bargain, and then wonder why our dog stops performing for us!

In fact, any time you attempt to teach your dog a new behaviour you make a deal with them that starts with a desired behaviour and end in a predictable result. In loose lead walking, the rule might be: walk loosely and we move forward, pull on the lead and we stop. Implemented consistently, the dog will figure out the rule and his lead walking will improve because he wants to move forward. If you don’t enforce the rule for some unknown reason; maybe because you are in a hurry to get somewhere, or have a general lack patience that day, or whatever, the rule stops being a rule and of course stops working as one. The dog get’s confused about what to do, and we know confusion contributes to anxiety. When the dog understands what they have to do, they relax and their behaviour can change.

Being consistent with expectations

As we can see, to make them effective, rules and boundaries aren’t just for you dog. Your dog won’t have any expectations of you if you are inconsistent about them.

Your dog must be able to reliably predict an outcome in order for it to count as an expectation. To do this you must be clear about what you want your dog to expect from you, and then you must make sure it happens every time. And not just once or twice, it’s got to happen regularly. We didn’t stop stockpiling loo roll as soon as the shelves were refilled. We stopped after visiting the store and seeing plentiful stocks, every week, for a long time – maybe months, or longer, for some. Only then could we be sure there would be enough and we stopped buying. It took much longer than that before we let our back up supplies deplete to nothing though!

But what about granny?

Setting expectations can be particularly hard when other people are involved. Maybe you are trying to teach your dog not to greet people by jumping up. You might start by asking visitors to wait until the dog sits down before they talk to him. If you do it, your kids do it, and your neighbours do it, but then granny hugs him when he’s jumping all around her, this will break the expectation of the behaviour achieving nothing, and the dog will get confused. As a result, next time he’ll try his preferred behaviour first and you’ll find you’re getting nowhere.

Instead, change something about the situation with granny so it feels different. You could put him on his lead when she comes and only let him greet her once he has calmed down, and she is sitting down. Now the chain hasn’t been broken because this time it was different enough.

He makes rules too!

Maybe your dog prefers a quick game of chasies around the kitchen table before you put his lead on. Or, maybe he has a special bark that lets you know it’s toilet time. Maybe he sits when you choose the wrong walking route, whines when it’s past his bed time, or you move out of his spot when he heads to the sofa. It’s likely that you’ve offered the same response to all these behaviours often enough that he is able to predict the outcome and now uses the behaviours as way to communicate his own needs and desires.

Is that a problem though?

Most of the time, this is perfectly ok. Your dog has just connected an action to an outcome and uses the behaviour to communicate to you that he wants something. People do this all the time. We don’t always ask for what we want, sometimes we drop hints with our own behaviour, and others respond. If we need a cuddle, we might move closer to our partner. Or when we huff, people around us might ask if we need help with something.

An aversive trainer might suggest this indicates that our dogs are becoming manipulative and that only the “pack leader” should initiate this kind of attention. But, would you refuse your partner a cuddle if they snuggled in close to you? Of course not, that would send a horrible message!

Changing expectations…

When you try to change a behaviour by changing his expectations, you must first find a way for him to get what he wants, but in a different way. If he is expecting attention, teach him a new way to ask for that. If his behaviour makes him feel safe, you must find a new way to reassure him. Once he has a new way to achieve his goal, or communicate a need, he’ll not worry if the old behaviour stops working for him.

If you suddenly change the outcome of a behaviour then you should expect the old behaviour to get worse before it gets better. He’s used to getting a certain reaction, so when you change that he’ll just try his old behaviour harder. Or, he’ll find a new way of trying to convey his need – this might not be better. In fact, it’s often much, much worse. Dogs that bite “without warning” have often been ignored in the past and are just finding ways to communicate that aren’t so easily ignored!